Because the term “Mirroring” is used here to describe two different (but related) processes, we feel it is important to clarify its usage. First, we will describe the term as used in non-cognitively mediated processes and then its use in cognitive processes, each an important component of empathy.
“Mirror Neuron Systems” – Mirror neurons are so numerous in the human brain they are considered to comprise hard-wired systems in the brain that operate to produce a non-cognitively mediated “embodied simulation experience.” This provides an automatic, hard-wired, connection between individual minds that helps us feel each other’s feelings and emotions without cognitive thought processes. Rather, it is experienced kinesthetically, in our bodies. We are fundamentally capable of unconsciously “mirroring” each other’s feelings & inner experience without having to think about it. Thus, this hard-wired process is primary to the more complex cognitive process of understanding of the other’s experience.
“Mirroring” your understanding of the other’s inner experience – Here the term describes a complex process of cognitive empathy i.e. trying to understand the others inner experience. While this cognitive process of understanding is fundamentally informed by the mirror neuron systems and embodied simulation, it involves thought processes. (Remember, the hard-wired embodied simulation process can be overridden by higher cognitive thought processes.) Consciously or unconsciously, we choose how to respond to the other. For example, do we choose to merge with the other’s feelings while simultaneously projecting our own on to them, do we choose to say nothing in the moment and withhold any form of understanding? Or do we choose to respond empathically and provide “positive mirroring”?
Positive mirroring is an important aspect of working with others at all levels. The therapeutic effect of accurately tuning in to and reflecting (mirroring) the other’s inner experience back to them provides feelings of being understood and strengthens their sense-of-self. However, mirroring can also be negative, as when a parent negatively mirrors a child by scolding, shaming or showing constant disappointment.
Thus, our ability to be empathic requires both embodied simulation, non-cognitive mirroring, made possible by our mirror neuron systems and the cognitively driven process of choosing how we respond to the other in the moment, i.e., positive mirroring. As you can see, both play an important role in the empathic attunement process.