Lesson 3 – The Impact of Sympathy, Empathy & the “As If” Stance
The Impact of Sympathy
VIDEO REVIEW
- Sympathy is closely related to Pity because both responses are triggered by observing another’s negative circumstance or situation.
- But, sympathy involves a sense of projected emotional alignment by the observer and possible emotional merger between the observer and recipient that often results in taking some action on the other’s behalf.
- Sympathy can be disempowering to the recipient by undermining their sense of agency, thus reinforcing an insecure sense-of-self organized around persistent feelings of victimhood, powerlessness and low self-esteem.
Experiential – The Impact of Sympathy
Coaching Note: Now take a few calming breaths and reflect on the following questions.
The Impact of Empathy & the “As If” Stance
REVIEW
- Empathy encompasses the full spectrum of someone’s feelings, including someone’s happiness and success and not just their difficulty, sorrow or pain.
- Empathy shows concern for the other, but the focus is to tune in to their inner experience without merging with them or projecting our own feeling onto them. This is called maintaining the “As If” stance. (We will discuss this in more depth in Module 2.)
- The goal is to understand the “what” and “why” of the other’s inner experience, “As If” it were your own, and to reflect it back to them while retaining the self/other objectivity.
Key differences between Sympathy & Empathy
- SYMPATHY is potentially projecting your feelings of caring and concerns onto the other.
- EMPATHY is tuning into the “what” and “why” of the other’s actual feelings without projecting ones own feelings, or emotional merger.
- EMPATHY includes mirroring the other’s positive & negative inner experience, as well as their natural strengths and sense of agency.